I don't know what is wrong with me or what causes this, but performing doesnt seem to release negative energy from me. Granted, I had a great time, but afterwards I always get all depressive. I remember after the 764-HERO show I sat outside at Einstein's trying not to cry until the little girl came up and asked me for my autograph. Tonight while I mingled for awhile, I sat outside on the corner shivering, but at least shivering was not being frightened, paranoid, or moody. I think I get performance anxiety or something. I was so scared tonight, and we did O.K.
Except, I really hate this scene. I mean it, I was beginning to actually have fun here and then some little high school punk-ass jerks decided to tag my car [with snack cakes, no less - how fucking lame?] with "bitch", "i hate you", and "die." I have a damned good idea of who it is, and if I ever find any hardcore evidence that it was you, I know of about fifteen people that are ready to kick your ass. However, Urch was really nice and actually cheered me up talking to her. And Conner said he was very impressed and that we sounded like early Sleater-Kinney [and I got even more comments on how I sound like Corrin Tucker, minus the crazy vibrato]. I think we have a show booked in March with a band called the Reputation, and Avec are playing here Friday [they're ex Sandwich Is people] plus in March is also the Helio Sequence and Magic Magicians [764-Hero + Black Heart Procession]. Rock.
I also got to hang out with schwarzbrille, bioproject, Steve, Megan FM, Kennedy, Aaron, Sebastian, Tim, and some other cool kids, so the evening wasn't a total loss. And I now have a really rad signed Bangs poster [and they were brilliant].
I've also re-added the anonymous posting. I really just need to stop giving a shit about this scene, because for 90% of it doesn't give a shit about me. Trust me, just telling me who you are won't make me hate you any more than I already do.
Tomorrow, I'll post pictures. Now, I have to do schoolwork.