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A plateau is a high form of flattery

[ website | sweet * anthem * press ]
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Blind hatred. It's what's for dinner. [28 Jan 2003|03:11pm]
[ mood | amused ]

I find it quite humorous that monsieur Anton hates me so much that he is an avid reader of my online journal. I guess I would rather him hate me than be indifferent towards me. At least hate is some form of emotion, and I know that they are so petty that they can not get over things which happened years ago.

What's even more hysterical is that I don't even know this person, and have never heard of him before. Apparently my name is dropped so much in hate-conversations or shit-talking that I'm an anti-celebrity.

And yeah, what happened to my car is quite hysterical, now that I think about it from someone else's perspective [though downright mean, at the same time]... I just wish people would quit hiding behind their
'balls'... real guts would have been to take the snack cakes and dunk my face into them. That would have been comedy, and sheer genius if they could have pulled it off.

Instead, they hide behind words.

However, it's a good thing the sleepwithlovely-Hate-Club is still alive and thriving.

xoxo

16 carnivores| there's a tiger in my bed!

no one would be happier than you. [27 Jan 2003|02:59pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

I think Mercury Rev are in my top 20 of all time [I really need to sit down and define this list]. I'd kill to see them live, I really would. So you better watch out...it might be you.

Instead of doing anything constructive, like clean my room or work on homework, I'm taking the afternoon to relax. I have a ridiculous amount of time before I need to leave for Linguistics [well, 30 minutes now]. Still, I plan to sit on my ass for as long as possible.

I have new rules for myself:

1. No more bitching/complaining. Unless it's about the band it's probably unfounded and just annoys everyone involved.
2. No more shit-talking. This has just gotten me into trouble waaaaaay too many times for my own damned good, and is sooooooo junior high.

*

Tonight after I got to the library to get the books I need for my theme [I'm debating between Belyi, Erofeev, Platonov and Solokov this semester], I'm going to J&B, since I haven't been in about a week, and I'm going to work like mad-crazy. I have a ton of reading assignments this week, and my goal is that by Friday I will be back on track with everything. I guess we'll see how this goes. I'd also like to practice.

I'm also going to be changing my livejournal username again soon, and this time it will probably be friends-only. I think I've exhausted all privacy out of theredmarina and this one.

xoxo

there's a tiger in my bed!

it would be much easier [27 Jan 2003|01:53am]
[ mood | depressed ]

I don't know what is wrong with me or what causes this, but performing doesnt seem to release negative energy from me. Granted, I had a great time, but afterwards I always get all depressive. I remember after the 764-HERO show I sat outside at Einstein's trying not to cry until the little girl came up and asked me for my autograph. Tonight while I mingled for awhile, I sat outside on the corner shivering, but at least shivering was not being frightened, paranoid, or moody. I think I get performance anxiety or something. I was so scared tonight, and we did O.K.

Except, I really hate this scene. I mean it, I was beginning to actually have fun here and then some little high school punk-ass jerks decided to tag my car [with snack cakes, no less - how fucking lame?] with "bitch", "i hate you", and "die." I have a damned good idea of who it is, and if I ever find any hardcore evidence that it was you, I know of about fifteen people that are ready to kick your ass. However, Urch was really nice and actually cheered me up talking to her. And Conner said he was very impressed and that we sounded like early Sleater-Kinney [and I got even more comments on how I sound like Corrin Tucker, minus the crazy vibrato]. I think we have a show booked in March with a band called the Reputation, and Avec are playing here Friday [they're ex Sandwich Is people] plus in March is also the Helio Sequence and Magic Magicians [764-Hero + Black Heart Procession]. Rock.

I also got to hang out with schwarzbrille, bioproject, Steve, Megan FM, Kennedy, Aaron, Sebastian, Tim, and some other cool kids, so the evening wasn't a total loss. And I now have a really rad signed Bangs poster [and they were brilliant].

I've also re-added the anonymous posting. I really just need to stop giving a shit about this scene, because for 90% of it doesn't give a shit about me. Trust me, just telling me who you are won't make me hate you any more than I already do.

Tomorrow, I'll post pictures. Now, I have to do schoolwork.

xoxo

9 carnivores| there's a tiger in my bed!

[26 Jan 2003|05:37pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

I'm getting nervous.

To apologize for being mean last night at practice and losing my temper, I bought Marcus and Luis food today. I thought that was cool of me.

Kennedy and I are leaving to go load equpiment, as Daveed puts it, like rock stars.

That is all.

The gig is in 2 and a half hours. Meep!

xoxo

3 carnivores| there's a tiger in my bed!

[25 Jan 2003|05:57pm]
[ mood | irritated ]

I feel very random today, but let me just say right now that I'm really irritated.

For one, I had a really strange dream while I took a nap. Something about schwarzbrille, bioproject, and Phil, and somehow being sort of locked in Phil's room with this very strange though very attractive man who I didn't recognize. And I didn't know it was Phil's room until bioproject and schwarzbrille walked in and inquired of what I was doing. I was also...mostly nekkid. Just my shirt off, but it was rather embarrassing because I couldn't find where it went, so I had to hunt down one of Phil's shirts. [yes, seahouse I'm talking about your brother...hehe] I don't know...it was odd. And man, the dorms in my dreams are always so swank. If we really had balconies like that and lived in an oasis, Tech would so rock.

For two, before the dream, I had a very aggravating call w/ the bandmates. We have a gig tomororw. We've got to practice tonight, but it's also Megan's 21st Birthday and I wanted to hang out with my other friends who I never see during the week. I also have tons of homework this weekend. Luis failed to tell me that he had to work this afternoon, from 2-5. So there goes my entire evening, devoted to not sucking tomorrow night. Grrr. I dont know, I know it doesnt seem that bad on the scale to you guys, but it does to me just the way the conversation ended up.

And...I just had a thought. Why is it bandmates, and classmates, but never workmates?

On another note, I'm in desparate need of some new lj icons.

Some exboyfriends are creepy, some exboyfriends are still kind of cool, and others just try way too hard to impress me/compete with me. I think I hate the last one the most. That's really the last thing I need right now, thanks. At least the creepy ones watch from far away and don't get in my face about pointless banter.

xoxo

2 carnivores| there's a tiger in my bed!

[25 Jan 2003|12:34pm]
[ mood | confused ]

So last night I checked my messages and Lewis from last semester had called and invited me to a party. I hadn't really talked to him since right before Halloween I think, which was about when I feel off the face of the planet. It was really random. I mean, he's a nice guy, speaks Russian very well, and is actually pretty attractive, but he's such a frat boy that I'm debating on whether or not to call him back and tell him about the show tomorrow, especially with the current state of affairs in my face.

What do y'all think?

xoxo

there's a tiger in my bed!

[23 Jan 2003|06:43pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Today has been interesting. Not interesting in the sense that anything interesting really happened, just interesting in the way I have been feeling. This whole week has just been one long string of events leading up to something just absolutely horrible. I don't know what that is yet, but it's inevitable. I just hope it isn't our show.

I just had a screaming match with my mother (again). I don't know what her deal is sometimes, but apparently I'm not pulling my weight around here [which is I guess founded, but in my eyes it's just that I'm never fucking home]. I was actually really afraid that I was truly going to be kicked out this time, but alas, I'll have to wait. Tomorrow I'm going to go apply for a job at the Avalanche-Journal, and see if anything comes out of that. If it does, I'm going to start making plans to move out, though I probably won't have a life again for quite some time. My classes are ten times harder than I thought they were going to be. So between school, the U.D., KTXT, my band(s), and a job, this semester is going to be hell. Thank God, however, for being a slacker and only in twelve hours [if even ridiculously hard twelve hours- I'm supposed to be reading about 100-200 pages a night, and writing three to four essays a week].

Today I feel like utter crap though, even aside from the fight with my mother and the fact that today I officially have a black eye. I don't know, I just haven't felt...right. I'm trying not to be upset about me and Wes breaking up, I know he's just a jerk of a pothead and that non-potheads dating potheads doesn't ever work. If that makes any sense. But...I don't know, I was still ridiculously in like with the boy. *sigh* I guess I'll just have to find someone else to be ridiculously in like with [though this effort has been brewing for quite sometime, and it's so secret in fact that no one really even knows about it, and I didn't honestly until it hit me a few weeks ago, and then especially this weekend...but this one is staying definitely a secret].

So tonight after practice [the actual kind-not like the last fake kind we had last night] I'm staying over at schwarzbrille's place since I have my first 6-9 am DJ shift. If you happen to listen [ http://www.ktxt.net/ ] and catch the reference in my DJ name, I'll make you a mix tape! ... a really really really ridiculously good mix tape!

note to self: go buy big-ass headphones

xoxo

1 carnivore| there's a tiger in my bed!

best/worst [23 Jan 2003|11:23am]
[ mood | crushed ]

I think Luis and I must be the two most difficult people ever to be in a band with, and it just so happens we're in the same one. It's quite funny. But at least now I know how to change my strings!

And I lied yesterday.

I just didn't want to tell you all that Ninjas kicked my ass.

So...watch out for those Ninjas in the quad parking lot, OK?

Also watch out for boys when they say they want to meet you at IHOP. What they really mean is that they want to break up with you.

xoxo

3 carnivores| there's a tiger in my bed!

the deailo on the shizzy that hizzy'd last nizzy. [22 Jan 2003|01:04pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

OK, so thanks to everyone for showing some concern. I'm a little better now, thanks mainly to my wonderous stage makeup skillz. I got a few funny looks in class, but nothing moreso than normal. Mainly, I was stupid, not watching where I was going, it was dark [my usual excuse], and while jabbering with my step-twin I managed not to notice those stupid median things between the cars, and the next thing I know my face is against the pavement. However, I have the absolute best friends ever, and Luis is cool enough to a) know Spanish, so he could talk to the custodials about getting a bag of ice, and b) have a first aid kit in his car. Kennedy and I ran to the girls' bathroom and proceeded to wash my hands and face, my hands though thankfully for Sunday's show are O.K. My knee also got pretty banged up, but luckily I didn't knock out a tooth or anything. And I didn't even cry until I got on my phone to call my mother. It's a lot worse than it looks, but feels a lot better than it should.

Yesterday was actually pretty fun, up until the very end anyways. We trained at KTXT w/ Clint, and although I missed getting to the Amaranth to watch Andy's last set, and yesterday's errands were really rushed and I've gotten virtually no more reading on War and Peace done, I had a great time hanging out with Kennedy and getting to know everyone else up at the station as well as working on promo stuff for the show.

We're practicing again tonight, so I'm going to go eat, change my strings, write my linguistics essay, then go to the meeting, and then to Marcus's. It just never ends.

xoxo

2 carnivores| there's a tiger in my bed!

[21 Jan 2003|11:49pm]
[ mood | hardcore ]

This is how hardcore I am.

I am so hardcore that I live off of a) food people buy me, b) peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches, and c) popcorn.

I am so hardcore that I fuck shit up everywhere I go, including myself and my own instruments.

I am so hardcore that I come out of fights looking like this:



It's really too bad the asphault won.

xoxo

14 carnivores| there's a tiger in my bed!

and then you throw it all away [21 Jan 2003|12:47am]
[ mood | cold ]

Argh...lots of things to do this week.

I havent done any of my homework yet. Haha, what a great way to start off the year. Instead I have been procrastinating by getting Sweet Anthem Press stuff done [for a change], plus decorating my room more as well as cleaning. And I wrote a new song tonight. It's purdy.

I'm kind of mad...someone tore down the Bangs posters from j&b. What the hell? They were the color ones too. If you're going to steal flyers at least wait until after the show is done!

xoxo

there's a tiger in my bed!

[20 Jan 2003|02:48pm]
[ mood | slackerish ]

Me + Luis = already rocking.

Me + Luis + Marcus = oh my god that rocks so much until I break another string.

xoxo

13 carnivores| there's a tiger in my bed!

don't worry, i'm with the band. [19 Jan 2003|03:53pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Fun Saturday night.

Hanging out with really cool people.

Some I had never met and others I hadn't seen since grade school.

It's still ridiculously cold in my house.

We're practicing with Marcus at 6. Yay for having a drummer, if even a temp one.

KTXT is going to rock this semester.

I'm glad Kennedy drug me to the hiring meeting, and I'm really glad I got a shift. Moreso now [after training and the party at Marcus's] than I was before.

I didn't realise that KTXT was so highly respected in the realm of college radio networks, but apparently it's in the top ten and one of the only actual fully student run in the top ten. I think I'm going to apply for the underwriting position, it's stuff I do already anyway, so why not?

I probably won't be updating this much anymore.

It's very quickly is losing its appeal.

xoxo

4 carnivores| there's a tiger in my bed!

the news of TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [16 Jan 2003|03:59pm]
[ mood | bored ]

1) I got a D.J. position for KTXT for 6-9 am on Friday mornings. It's mostly request, so that means I get to be a deviate a little a not really pay any attention whatsoever to the playlist...er...I mean...I'm not ever going to play that Gravy Train song at 6:30 AM when everyone is trying to wake up, no way.

2) Speaking of the Gravy Train song that Kennedy and I have had stuck in our heads since me, her, Jake, Pinky and Tony were making waffles that morning in her kitchen down in Austin, she finally found it and is now burning like fifty billion copies. Everyone will know the beauty that is Gravy Train and the "Menz" e.p.

3) The prank on Marcus was priceless. It went a little something like this. Follow with me now. Me: "Hey, I got the zine done finally! Here's your copy." Him: [thumbing through it] "Wait...did you do this?" Me: "Do What?" Him: "Look." [points to his name, where it actually reads Carlos J. Parks instead of Marcus J. Parks.] Me: "Oh yeah, I did that. Wait, you are Carlos right?" Him: *pause* "No...it's Marcus." Ohhhhh it was priceless.

4) I made an executive decision today and made Marcus our drummer for the Bangs show. I figure it will be much easier than trying to meet someone new that I don't really know rather than just putting one of my friends behind a drumset and telling them to play.

5) Don't Kill the Messenger #2 is done, finally. Kennedy and I stayed up at Kinko's forever because the margins were being all screwy. Note to self, it's Word 97 all the way from now on. Screw Adobe Photoshop.

That's about it really. You Central/Standard Time Zoners should start listening to my show next week. Hooray!

xoxo

1 carnivore| there's a tiger in my bed!

no nam nada ugrat'. [15 Jan 2003|12:25pm]
[ mood | enthralled ]

Well, even though the day began with the apt spring semester gloom and drizzle, it got better. The cool thing about my new coat, however, is that the pockets are the perfect size to carry a c.d. player in, so I walked from Ralph's [where I'm parking, yay for free parking is all I can say] to the FL jamming out to Erase Erata. I think my hair got some funny looks but it was cool. Searching aimlessly for my 3303 class, I ran headlong into Kimi and schwarzbrille looking awfully adorable in her bright orange and very swank Old 97's shirt [god we're such music geeks- I wore my Blood Brothers shirt today], chatted for a few minutes and then found the classroom on the opposite side of the FL. Russian was ok, my ear is considerably better than it was last year but my speaking has all gone to Hell since I didn't do any of it during the break [well very little anyway]. That, and there's this new fifth year student that transferred in who is mighty intimidating. Jake and I gave each other the "oh crap" eyes every once and awhile. History was really cool though. I ran into a girl who lived on one of my halls at some point, and we sat in the back and gossiped for awhile. My professor though is this really cute Holocaust studies specialist, and she's been to the Czech republic, and she's making us read Jack Kerouac's On the Road so she can't be all bad.

And now I'm home for my four hour break before my senior level linguistics class, about which I'm horribly terrified that they're going to kick me out of due to lack of...uh...prerequisites. And then at six is a KTXT meeting. Hooray for going to be a DJ this year.

So that, ladies and gentleman, has been the first day of school so far. God I wish I could just stay in college forever.

[watch this change come midterms]

xoxo

1 carnivore| there's a tiger in my bed!

creating monsters by the dozen, and one of them is me [15 Jan 2003|02:37am]
[ mood | angry ]

I was in a great fucking mood earlier. I played my first open mike at the Amaranth and I was scared to death but Trees + Jackie were dancing and being silly and Andy was there which helped a lot [and Sebastian didn't boo me off the couch]...I'm gonna go back next week since he moves a week from Sunday. All the cool people move the minute I meet them. I'm really gonna miss that boy. The set was fun though, after I got over the initial tension-I use the word fuck a lot when I'm nervous, I've noticed. I told the audience to fuck the super bowl and come watch my band play. It was kind of funny because I dont think anyone was expecting all the negative energy.

And then, I checked my email, and realized two things:

a) I'm really fucking far behind on Sweet Anthem Press/Don't Kill the Messenger stuff, and school starts tomorrow, not to mention the five billion things I need to get done before the show in a week and a half. [By the way, rakastaa, I borrowed one of the photos you send me - the one of your guitar - for the cover of issue 2. it's pretty swank, I'll send you one when they're done.]

b) my friend Patrick is getting shipped out to Kuwait on Valentine's Day. That fucking sucks. I fucking hate the current administration. Remind me not to work for the Homeland Defense system as originally planned. I'm not advocating senseless war or terrorism.

I was going to pull an all-nighter, but fuck it all, I think I'm going to bed. I feel like crying for too many reasons and it's cold as Hell in my room.

xoxo

2 carnivores| there's a tiger in my bed!

but i haven't got a stitch to wear [14 Jan 2003|06:58pm]
[ mood | numb ]

I was going to write a really long and whiney entry about getting nothing done, and about how I think I'm finally a vegetarian, and how I'm glad that KTXT is back, because not only did I hear John Vanderslice on the radio but DJ Overcast also played me Built to Spill and the Dandy Warhols and then this afternoon I heard the new Tracey and the Plastics (note to self: a- go to DJ hiring meeting tomorrow at 6 and b- request the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs at some point).

But I guess this is all you get, I'm too busy to be obsessive about this right now.

xoxo

6 carnivores| there's a tiger in my bed!

memorable moments [13 Jan 2003|06:10pm]
[ mood | cold ]

There's a lot more pictures where this came from. Expect your friends pages to be jammed full by the end of this week.

I didn't got to the U.D. workshop due to some really bad sickness I got. I don't feel 100% yet but at least I think I might want to eat again.

Kennedy and I are going to finish the zine tonight...and, without further adeu...


kennedy at spider house, austin

*


kennedy at spider house, austin

*


the blood brothers, austin

*


the blood brothers, austin

*


panic attack and pelvic thrusts, lubbock

xoxo

3 carnivores| there's a tiger in my bed!

[12 Jan 2003|08:37pm]
[ mood | restless ]

I was going to be productive today, but I just haven't been. Oh well.

We practiced again at 2 today, but Jackie and I didn't get home from Wes's until 4 am last night so we slept in a little too late for me to get anything done this morning. I got home from Luis's around 5 and since then I have sort of cleaned my room and worked a little on the website. I was going to post pictures from the trip, but I really just don't feel like it. I've been writing so much in my notebook latel that livejournal just doesn't even really seem like a question.

But I am kind of going a little crazy. We have a gig two weeks from today. Our name is on some really swank looking posters, underneath the Bangs. Augh! We don't even have a drummer yet, what the Hell?!

And it seems like everyone is sick again. Kennedy is lying on my floor sleeping next to the space heater because she can't get warmed up and Sam just signed off because he wasn't feeling well. Blu gets back from Seattle tomorrow. I have to be up at a ridiculously early hour to be at Tech at 9 am for a writer's workshop for the University Daily. I haven't printed out anything for it or written anything new yet [I was going to work on my Blood Brothers and Panic Attack/Pelvic Thrusts interviews but it hasn't happened]. I also need to finish stuff for the zine as well as start working on things for the Neko Case interview... Gah. Then to top it off school starts on Wednesday.

O.K., I guess if I want to watch any of Adult Swim whatsoever I should shut up and get a move on. This entry is officially pointless anyway.

xoxo

there's a tiger in my bed!

[11 Jan 2003|07:06pm]
[ mood | good ]

I'm back from Austin.

I didn't get to go to Orlando.

Or San Angelo for that matter either.

But...details later. Time for band practice. We have a gig on Jan 26 at 9 pm with the Bangs. Woot.

xoxo

4 carnivores| there's a tiger in my bed!

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